Almost April Showers

Our friend Gen wrote this today. I truly appreciate her friendship. Go, if no other reason than for her pictures.

In retrospect

A dear friend emailed today, reminding me that I have been lackadaisical in providing updates about the status of our family. I feel as though we have been at sea in the midst of a storm. During the roughest patches, it seemed as though my sole responsibility was to make sure our small boat stayed afloat. As the storm clears, my first inclination has been to catch my breath and appreciate the break rather than let the people on solid ground know that our vessel is still aright. But here we go.

Heather is now 3-1/2 months post-diagnosis. Things moved rapidly from diagnosis to mastectomy to chemotherapy. In fact today, she completed her 6th of 8 treatments, so we are on the downhill side. From my perspective, her first treatment was the worst and they have progressively improved such that there are days she feels nearly normal. She is much less prone to fatigue and is almost never nauseous now. She lost her hair, which was trying, but she grows more confident day by day. Having cancer has given us an open platform to share our faith. We pray that this experience allows us to share God's word and that it may take root in those who do not know Him.

Tessa has now been home with us six weeks. As I previously wrote, I have been stunned at God's timing and providence. Tessa came home to us much sooner than she should have. Potential road blocks were cleared with ease, which can only be attributed to the power of prayer. Her adjustment to our family has been remarkable. She consistently sleeps through the night, eats well, and seems to genuinely love all of us. When I enter the house after work, her face exudes joy.

Interestingly, as many of you know, despite its relative rapidity, our adoption journey was somewhat circumlocutious. We initially set out to adopt a large sibling group, then considered state special needs adoption, followed by the pursuit of a healthy African-American infant from Alabama, and eventually settling on adopting a child with Down syndrome. We found a description of Tessa (healthy Ethiopian infant, probable mosaic Down syndrome) on a registry and without any additional knowledge felt compelled to pursue her. Early indicators certainly led us to believe she would have delays and likely DS, but within hours of meeting her, it was reasonably evident that she did not. We did have the birth-to-three program perform and evaluation and she seems to be developmentally on target with no hint of DS. She will likely walk soon, has already learned two signs (more and milk), and has a host of verbal sounds.

Grace and Ian have weathered this storm like champions. Grace is about midway through a program called CLIMB a cancer support program for kids. Ian has also been in tow, mostly because they serve good food like McDonalds.

So, on this cold January afternoon, I turn and retrospect over the past several months. My writing demonstrates that I have experienced have experienced a host of emotions. My emotions today are these:

Gratitude. I am deeply grateful for a God who loves me unconditionally and who allowed me to deepen my trust in Him through these few months. I am grateful for a wife who has handled the double shot of breast cancer and a new baby with amazing grace. On my prayer card for Heather, I wrote Proverbs 31:25 at the top, which says, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, she laughs at the time to come." Although there are days she does not feel particularly strong, or dignified, or confident enough to laugh, I see all of those characteristics in her. I am proud to call her my wife. I am grateful for three children who remain steadfast through this storm, unapologetically loving us and each other.

Peace. Though anxieties over every day life still creep in from time to time, I have felt more at peace. At the beginning, looking ahead to the trials, I felt a strong sense of apprehension. I knew I needed the Father, but I did not know what it might feel like to trust Him over time. Could He really help me overcome the difficulties? He patiently carried me along, reminding me that my trust in Him was well-founded and that no matter the outcome of trials, He will be at my side. Today, that leaves me feeling peaceful and confident in His sovereignty.

Joy. Life, in Christ, appears somehow richer to me now. Both loss through cancer and gain through adoption remind me daily that my joy is found in Christ. No matter how deep I may go or how high I may ascend, Christ is there and He is my joy. May that ever be true.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. -I Thessalonians 5:16-18

God's Timing

God is in the details- Ludwig Mies van der Rohe

Tomorrow morning, my mother and I will board a plane for New York City to pick up Tessa who will be arriving on a plane from Africa. We should arrive about two hours before Tessa. We will leave 6 hours after we arrive. Back to Minneapolis--an additional passenger in tow. There are many details, but God is in control of them.

Consider the last several months--God has been ever present. Last summer, we felt a sense of urgency to get our home study done quickly, but God slowed the process. If He hadn't, we would not have been able to adopt Tessa. In October, we were given a much quicker embassy date than we anticipated. Later, because of Heather's cancer, we had to adjust some of our paperwork--in fact, it had to go through 4 different federal offices. We were told that the average time for processing on the second step was 2.5 months. Ours took about 2 weeks. I was told the third step would take 2-4 weeks. Ours took 4 days. We had to rely entirely on God to provide an embassy date for getting Tessa's visa the following day. It was given.

Another unusual circumstance was that our social worker was supposed to come back to the USA last week. Due to unforeseen circumstances (another child's visa not coming through), she stayed in Africa an additional week. We were still unsure because the flights from Africa to the USA didn't fit with our her schedule. In fact, she emailed Heather earlier in the week and said "I just don't know how that I can make this work, I am sorry." Things changed and she adjusted her schedule again. This provided enough time to get Tessa's paperwork through 3 different offices. Barrier after barrier has been knocked down. Heather spoke with a travel agent yesterday who marveled at the rapidity of our process the mercurial changes and asked how it happened. She replied, "we have over 100 people praying for us."

I have been jointly praying for God's timing, but also a December 17th embassy date, fully aware of the hurdles, indeed the earthly impossibility, of it happening. The heavenly irony is that we didn't get a date on the 17th, we got one on the 16th, which I believe was God's clear message to me that He loves me, he loves Tessa, but that He is in control of the clock.

We couldn't do it.
Our social worker couldn't do it.
Only God could.
And He Did.

For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay.
-Habakkuk 2:3