Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
I am not someone prone to weariness. I am an optimist who typically only experiences occasional bouts of the blues and they rarely last long. Yesterday was one of those dark days. Heather has been experiencing wave upon wave of side effects from surgery and chemotherapy including multiple infections, back pain, nausea, and fatigue. Every time it seems that she is getting better, something else comes along.
I was looking forward to yesterday. A day of Thanksgiving. A morning spent in the woods with a good friend. A reprieve. I prayed that I might make it through the morning hunt, that Heather would feel well, that my children would behave, and that I would come home refreshed.
Despite a brisk morning and a deep chill, on the drive home I felt good, but then I found out that a friend had to come to take the kids. Heather could not manage the 6 hours I was gone. I felt irritated, worried, and guilty but more than anything, I felt the weariness that had begun to abate seeping back in. I felt weighed down again. When we went to bed last night, Heather asked me if I was okay. I told her that I felt overwhelmed with all of the responsibility on my shoulders. I was that young man who fell, exhausted.
This morning, I awoke with a renewed sense of calm. I was reminded yet again that I will not make it through this on my own, but only through God's uplifting strength. As I read Isaiah 40 this morning, he reminded me that as I wait on Him, He will be my supply, my strength, my source.