08 October 2015

Reflections from a Pensive Heart

I have felt weepy today 
Emotive clouds pregnant
     Eager to give birth to tears. 
Yet they are not gloomy and gray. 
     They are tall and billowing and white. 
     Contentedly basking in the light of day
     Ready at a moment's notice to conspire with the sun 
          to mingle rain drops and sun drops 
to paint beauty in the sky. 

I partly blame...or perhaps thank...Andrew Peterson for today's speculative mood. I listened to his new song, Be Kind to Yourself, perhaps a dozen times this morning.  His lyrics and mood affected my mood and lyrics today. Let me share a few of my rambling thoughts.

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The Beauty of God's grace is my heartbeat. Thoughts of it occupy my mind many times a day. Grace marvels me. That God would lavish His love on me is difficult to comprehend. Today, though, I have been struck by mercy, grace's mirror image twin. Mercy is beauty. Because of the blood of His son, and His incomparable love, God stays His hand.

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Though Lewis's Mere Christianity is a matchless book, Christianity isn't merely anything, a point Lewis rightly made. In whatever ways I might conceptualize Christianity, it is more, always more. It is too easy to allow Christianity to be assent to a set of doctrines, or a way of living, or even a feeling. Christianity is more. In The Message, Eugene Peterson paraphrased part of Mark 12 as "love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy." Christianity is not merely attending church on Sunday morning. It is not merely saying yes to Jesus. It is not merely preaching the good news. It is not merely serving the poor. Christianity is all of life. Christ is present in my dinner table conversations, my walks on a crisp day, and my love of my wife. He is present in my laughter, my sorrows, and my pain. God does not exist above the everyday, He enters it. True faith is both ruddy and transcendent. I marvel at them both. 

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My mind tends to run ahead, always thinking, thinking, thinking. Cogwheels whirring, manipulating ideas and formulating thoughts. I want to learn to be attentive to the moment. To quiet my soul enough to listen for God. To be present with people. 

Father, train my ears to listen carefully for Your indwelling breath. Sharpen my eyes to see flickers of Your majesty. 

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