09 August 2009


I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
-Homesick, Mercy Me

In recent weeks, I have shed tears at the slightest provocation. It may be something I read, a conversation, or a song. During worship this morning, I stopped singing four times because I could not hold back my emotions. I have a river of feelings that flood my being and I don't know where to go with them. I believe the source of these feelings, however, is a sense of "homesickness".

As I grow closer to God and desire to be in His presence, the rest of my life fades by comparison. By the world's standard, I have an amazing job that more than allows me to provide for my family. I have a beautiful home and nice things. Yet I feel out of place. I feel unworthy gratitude for Christ's sacrifice. I feel eager anticipation about heaven. But I feel less and less satisfaction in my earthly dwelling or my accomplishments. I want to spend my time reading about God, talking to God, and thinking about God. I know that I need to keep at my job, but on some level I don't want to. As I wait for heaven and shedding this earthly shell, I just pray that God allows the benediction to the Thessalonians to dwell permanently in my soul.

I Thessalonians 5:12-24--Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 comment:

Loree VZ said...

Beautiful Jason! I haven't gone on your blog spot for quite some time and just noticed the link on your facebook page today again. You brought a smile to my face to read your entry today. Thank you!