Superball

My mind is a superball
     incessantly 
          unpredictably bouncing
seemingly unable to remain at rest.

Superballs are fun
     though they aren't good for much else.

Like a toddler at play
     I move
          I move
rarely slowing for rest. 

The Father says,
     "come touch my knee." 

I resist. 
     Again..."come touch my knee." 

I do so, reluctantly, 
     but my mind still bounces around the room. 

"Look at me, son." 
     I turn to look at Him, 
     but like the superball,
     my eyes bounce away after a short second. 

"Look at me." 
     I try again to hold His gaze,
     a few seconds longer this time. 

He remains patient and tender.
     I draw an uneven breath and, holding it, look.

There is stillness in His eyes
     and love in His smile.

I relax.

How long before I bounce away again? 

A Kingdom Prayer

O Lord,
Redeemer and Sustainer,
I commend this day to you.
You are higher than the heavens
yet, by your Spirit, you dwell
with me and in me.

You are glorious above all created things.
Turn my eyes from all that gleams and glitters
to your throne
where true satisfaction is found.

Let me live today in the truth
of your indwelling Spirit,
an ambassador of your kingdom
wherever my feet land.

Sustain me today.
Give me what is needful for worshiping you fully,
but not so much that my eyes turn from you.

The world you created is beautiful
but has been tainted by sin;
keep me from desiring counterfeit treasures
that promise satisfaction
but provide nothing.

When evil surrounds me,
hold me fast and usher me away
back into the safety of your embrace.

Forgive me when I fail you.
May your mercy be an ever flowing stream,
washing out my self-inflicted wounds
and teach me to live
with abundant patience, grace, mercy, and forgiveness
toward those who have sinned against me.

Everything belongs to you.
May everything I do and say and think and feel
bring glory to you.

Poems and Prayers

Poems and prayers breathe the same air. They leave the oppressive smog of a closed mind and ascend into the rarefied air of the heavens. Each value words, sometimes even when they are inexpressible, which happens so often in prayer. But even in those times when we are mute, struck dumb by circumstance, we have the Word himself, by his Spirit, who intercedes for us. It seems we try to live life using the Bible as an instruction manual rather than a picture God's larger story.

Father, expand my senses

so that I might experience more of you.

Expand my mind

that I might know more of you,

expand my hear that I might love you more,

expand my awareness

that I might see your providence in all things.

An ambassador's prayer

As a citizen in Your kingdom

an ambassador at Your gates

may I manifest Your Son

with word and deed

a faithful representative of Your throne

committed to justice, beauty, and righteousness

cloaked in a garment of humility, gentleness, and peace

eager to listen

slow to speak

and when I do open my mouth

may my words

breathe Your grace and truth. 

Breathe the Lord's prayer

Our Father

Who art in heaven

hallowed be Thy name

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

on earth, as it is in heaven

give us this day 

our daily bread

and forgive us our debts

as we forgive our debtors

and lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from evil

for Thine is the kingdom

and the power

and the glory

forever and ever amen

Recently, I have been reading about prayer, listening to teachings about prayer, meditating on prayer, and, perhaps surprisingly, actually praying. I have been listening to a series of lectures by one of my favorite authors, Eugene Peterson, entitled Jesus and Prayer. Naturally, he spends quite a lot of time discussing what we know to be Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13; Luke 11:2-4). Many of us learned the Lord's prayer from an early age, or at least a version similar to the above, but I wonder how many have given thought beyond recitation. Specifically, what did Jesus teach his disciples to pray?

Our Father--Jesus encourages us to begin our prayers with "Our Father." There is much richness even in these two words. "Our" reminds us that when we pray, it is not just an individualistic endeavor. Our voices, even when we pray alone, join with all of the saints. We are members of a body. Yet our relationships are not just horizontal (saint to saint), but vertical (us to God and God to us). Jesus used the word "Father" to teach us that when we pray, it is not a formal address to a Master, Sovereign Ruler, or all powerful Creator. It is that, but it is more. When Jesus taught to pray to the "Father," he was highlighting the intimacy and connection we have with God. We are a part of his family. We belong.

In heaven--Because so many of us think of heaven as somewhere "out there", somewhere inaccessible, we think that God too is inaccessible. I don't think Jesus meant that. When Matthew writes about heaven, he is writing about the kingdom of God. Heaven is where God dwells and God, by His Spirit, dwells with His people.

Hallowed be Your name--Hallowed is not a word we use very often in modern parlance. To be hallowed means to be treated reverentially and with honor. Jesus was telling his disciples to pray in a way that does not dishonor God, but also to live in a way that God is treated reverentially and honorably. He was teaching them to pray, "Father, may Your people make much of Your name."

Your kingdom come--Jesus talked a lot about the kingdom of God. A lot. God's kingdom is where His will is accomplished, where God rules and prevails. Jesus is teaching them to pray for God's will and God's rule to invade everywhere.

Your will be done--This is directly connected with prayer for God's kingdom. It is a request to see God's desires to happen. It raises the question, can God's will be thwarted? Ultimately, no. Yet teaches us to pray that we would enact God's will, God's plans in all of creation.

On earth as it is in heaven--In God's kingdom, shalom rules. Yet, brokenness still affects the world and the people who live in it. Jesus teaches us to pray that creation would increasingly reflect the characteristics of God's kingdom and God's glory.

Give us this day our daily bread--It is a request to give us what we need for the day, not for yesterday or tomorrow, but for today. But for today.  This phrase recognizes our ongoing dependence upon God's grace for all things, physical and spiritual.

Forgive us our debts--We are sinners, desperately in need of God's forgiveness. Jesus teaches his followers to go to the place where forgiveness and mercy are freely given, God's throne. None of us has lived a sin-free day. Each day, we accumulate debt, yet each day, God stands ready to forgive.

As we forgive our debtors--Yet Jesus reminds us that although God forgives sinners (vertical relationship), his followers are also to forgive one another (horizontal relationship). We must be cautious about presuming upon God's forgiveness when we refuse to forgive another (see verses 14-15). Forgiveness is a high and holy calling and it can be difficult and painful, but it is not optional for the believer.

Lead us not into temptation--Jesus teaches us to pray that God will keep us from unbearable temptations from the world, the flesh, and the devil. It is a request for God's protection.

But deliver us from evil--BUT...when we find ourselves captured by evil--our own or another's--God can and will deliver us.

If we have put our faith in Christ, it is our hope and prayer that we grow in Christlikeness. We desire that God's shalom will increase while evil retreats. We pray that the effects of the fall become less and less upon God's creation, broken relationships, and human hearts.

This is not a one time prayer; it must become our breath.

A Good Friday Prayer: The Precious Blood

Blessed Lord Jesus,
Before thy cross I kneel and see
     the heinousness of my sin,
     my iniquity that caused thee to be
     'made a curse',
     the evil that excites the severity
     of divine wrath.
Show me the enormity of my guilt by
     the crown of thorns,
     the pierced hands and feet,
     the bruised body,
     the dying cries.
Thy blood is the blood of incarnate God,
     its worth infinite, its value beyond all thought.
Infinite must be the evil and guilt
     that demanded such a price.
Sin is my malady, my monster, my foe, my viper,
     born in my birth,
     alive in my life,
     strong in my character,
     dominating my faculties,
     following me as a shadow,
     intermingling with my every thought,
     my chain that holds me captive in the
     empire of my soul.
Sinner that I am, why should the sun give me light,
     the air supply breath,
     the earth bear my tread,
     its fruits nourish me,
     its creatures subserve my ends?
Yet thy compassions yearn over me,
     thy heart hastens to rescue me,
     thy love endured my curse,
     thy mercy bore my deserved stripes.
Let me walk humbly in the lowest depths
     of humiliation,
     bathed in thy blood,
     tender of conscience,
     triumphing gloriously as an heir of salvation.
-Valley of Vision

The essence of prayer

Ten million prayers
hover and fly
begging attention
and so I try

to focus my thoughts
to talk with my Lord
but they bounce so fast
it seems I get bored

with each thought that enters
seeking my prayer
they clamor for notice
and then they are

gone in a flash
replaced by another
I reached out to grasp it
but then wonder whether

something more urgent
seeks prayerful release
I chase that thought too
but God whispers "Peace

be still from your frenzy
relax in my presence
time spent with me
that is prayer's essence.

Daily prayer for transformation

In Romans 12:2, Paul admonishes us to avoid being conformed to the world, but to instead be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The difficulty for all of us is that we have to live in the world and are thus pressured into the world's mold. Passivity will not work; transformation takes intentional practice. Bible reading, silence and solitude, worship, and prayer are but a few examples. One of the practices I've more recently developed is that each morning, I try to pray through a list of traits I want to see growing in my life. The list started with Paul's description of the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23, but I have expanded it from there. Here is what I try to daily. Some days I am too distracted. Some days I only get part way through the list. Some days I simply forget. But God is gracious and patient.

I begin by spending a few moments trying to settle my mind. I am one of those people whose mind chases 10,000 thoughts and I have to purpose myself to be in the moment. It is so easy to find my mind wondering and wandering. Typically, I can calm my mind some before I begin this prayer, never perfectly, and sometimes not at all. On those days, quite frankly, I try to spend my time simply quieting my mind, which in and of itself is an important practice.

After I quiet my mind some, I begin to pray through a list of character qualities I want to develop in my life together with their opposites. As I am slowly inhaling, I will pray, for example, "make me more loving." As I exhale slowly, I will pray, "rid me of hate." I do that for each of the traits, or as many as the morning allows.

Here is my current master list.

• Love--Hate
• Joy--Pessimism 
• Peace--Anxiety
• Patience--Hurry
• Kindness--Mean-spiritedness
• Goodness--Evil
• Faithfulness--Disloyalty
• Gentleness--Harshness
• Self-control--Impulsivity

• Presence--Distraction
• Truthfulness--Dishonesty
• Humility--Pride
• Other-Centeredness--Selfishness
• Curiosity--Disinterest
• Compassion--Cruelty
• Wisdom--Foolishness
• Justice--Unfairness
• Passion--Indifference
• Mercy--Callousness
• Godliness--Ungodliness
• Hope--Despair
• Generosity--Selfishness
• Beauty--Ugliness 
• Thankfulness--Demandingness
• Settledness--Frenzy
• Perseverance--Apathy

This is a fairly long list and if you do not rush, it will take a while. In addition to taking a few moments to settle my mind, I have found a few other things helpful.

1. Try to do this everyday, even if it is just a part of it. 
2. Write down the list on a note card to reference as you are praying. The words will eventually begin to take root, but it takes some time and help. 
3. Visualization can help. As I am praying each of the words, I will sometimes picture a color I would associate with each word. For example, peace may be white; cruelty, black. It can also be beneficial to picture plucking fruit from a tree associated with each word. 
4. Listen.  If you are praying slowly enough, you can listen for and begin to hear the Holy Spirit. As you pray, what is He telling you? Sometimes, a certain word will trigger me and I will sit and ponder it for a bit--sometimes with curiosity, sometimes with confession. 
5. Choose a word to bring with you for the day. If you are going to be interacting with difficult family, perhaps you meditate on patience. 
6. As you conclude, thank God that He promises to sanctify you by His grace and ask Him to carry these characteristics forward into your day.

Finally, like all spiritual practices, you will not be perfect, but you will grow. Fruit does not appear on a tree fully grown. It takes time. Someone who is out of shape does not get up and immediately do an Ironman triathlon. He works up to it. We also train ourselves for spiritual growth. Dallas Willard introduced me to the concept of "training versus trying." Too many believers, myself included, try to do right and when we fail, we give up. Training expects failure as a part of growth. According to Proverbs 24:16, "the righteous falls seven times and rises again."

Train yourself for righteousness.
Train yourself to watch for the Spirit's movement.
And above all, thank God for His continual grace toward you.

If you want a Google Docs printout to put in your Bible, you can follow this link.

Ortberg on Reviewing the Day with God

I found this gem in John Ortberg's excellent book The Life You've Always Wanted. 

Reviewing the Day with God

1. [At the end of the day] Be still for a moment and quiet your mind. 
2. Acknowledge that Jesus is present. Invite him to teach you.
3. Go back in your mind to when you first woke up. Watch that scene, as if on video. This may lead you to pray for patience, greater love, courage, forgiveness, or other virtues. 
4. Continue through the day, going from scene to scene. As you reflect on them, some scenes may fill you with gratitude, others with regret. Speak directly to the Lord about this. You may also be led to pray for some people you were interacting with during the day. 
5. End with a prayer of thanksgiving for God's mercy and love. Ask him to refresh you as you sleep.

Praying your Thought Stream

"Okay. It's time to pray. 'Dear Holy Father in Heaven above. Thank you for this day and all of the good gifts that come from Your hand. 

[I could really use another cup of coffee]. 

Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. I am so grateful for every...

[I wonder what my work schedule is like today] 

Shoot. Sorry God. Please be with my pastor... 

[I wonder how Bob is doing. He seemed kind of down last week. I really like sleep. And coffee. I should really check my Facebook status. Oh, and I need to order that book. Wait...no...I'm praying]. 

Where was I? Dear God...wait I already said that....

[sigh, forget it.]

Have you ever had a prayer time like this?  You sit down to pray with the best of intentions. Perhaps you plan to use the ACTS model (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication) or some other approach. But then you get going and your mind is in 10,000 places. You become angry with yourself because you cannot focus on "praying right." Paul's words from 1 Thessalonians 5 come to mind--"pray without ceasing"--and you cannot even imagine praying for 10 minutes. What does it even mean to pray without ceasing?  You begin to think, if there is a right way to pray, I am surely doing it wrong. Then the guilt comes.

But, what if in our pressure to pray right we are completely missing the point? We become so focused on following the right model, or saying the right words that we forget that prayer really is conversation with God. It's about relating with the Trinity, not manipulating God with our words.

So, how might this look different? First, drop the guilt over your anemic prayer life. Even when you don't know how or what to pray (which for me is much of the time) the Holy Spirit prays for you (Romans 8:26). He is way better at it than we are anyway.

Second, learn to enjoy talking with God about everything. When you are praying and you think about another cup of coffee, thank God for coffee or just let him know your desire. When you are praying and you think about your work schedule, offer it up to God.  I think when Paul talked about praying without ceasing, I think this is partly what he meant a life lived in ongoing conversation with God, learning to present whatever comes to mind.

Third, learn to listen. Sometimes, when those seeming interruptions come to mind, we should attend to them. God speaks to us through His word, but also through His people, and His world. Give ear to him. Pray conversationally and relationally--speak and listen.

Book Review: The Way of the Heart

Flee, be silent, pray always, for these are the sources of sinlessness.-Abba Arsenius

The Way of the Heart: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers (1981) by Henri Nouwen is a short book with deep impact. At just 96 short pages, Nouwen provides much to think about. In essence, Nouwen examined the importance of solitude, silence, and prayer through the lenses of the desert fathers, Christians who lived in the Egyptian desert during the 4th and 5th centuries.

Flee--In the first section, where Nouwen addressed the importance of solitude, he began by telling of St. Anthony who apparently lived in complete solitude in the desert for 20 years. Nouwen uses Anthony's experience as a call to solitude for the modern Christian. He contends that solitude is a direct key to developing compassion.

Be silent--Silence often goes hand in hand with solitude. Living in the 21st century, we are bombarded with noise, and sounds, and words. In our loquaciousness, words have been drained of their power. The person who practices silence guards his tongue and also learns to speak with meaning. Nouwen writes, "It is a good discipline in each new situation if people wouldn't be better served by our silence than by our words" (p. 65).

Pray always--In the final section, Nouwen addresses the pray of the heart, which he differentiates from prayers of the mind that dominate many of our prayer lives. Learning to enter the presence of God, to pray with our whole lives, flows from solitude and silence.

On the whole, I liked this book. I think there is a lot of wisdom to glean from this book. However, though I agree that there is much benefit to the practice of solitude, I do not believe that living in complete isolation, such as St. Anthony did for decades, is as God intended. We were created to relate, so seeking long term isolation seems contrary to God's Word.  With that modest caution, reading this book is definitely worthwhile. 

Book Review: Opening to God

If you're idea of prayer is that you bring a list of petitions to God during your morning devotions, Opening to God: Lectio Divina and Life as Prayer (2010) by David Benner may challenge your understanding of prayer.  Benner, a psychologist and spiritual guide, certainly acknowledges the necessity of petitionary prayer, but in this book, he presents an extended reflection on why prayer is not just that. 

Building upon the ancient practice of lectio divina (sacred reading), Benner suggests several different ways in which the Christian's prayer life may be transformed.  For those unfamiliar with lectio divina, it traditionally consists of 4 movements--lectio (reading), meditatio (meditation), oratio (prayer), and contemplatio (contemplation). It was developed as a way to engage holy scripture.  Benner has expanded this idea into the world of prayer. The pray-er may engage in several different practices including: prayer as attending, prayer as pondering, prayer as responding, and prayer as being.  As he describes how each of these approaches may be practiced, he shatters the notion of prayer simply as supplication. 

There is much to commend about this book.  I think many Christians, like me, have a stunted concept of prayer. Opening to God will assuredly push your boundaries of understanding what a life of prayer can look like. On the other hand, Benner's apparent full acceptance of the contemplative tradition including "emptying ourselves" seems at times to have more connection with Eastern spirituality than with orthodox Christianity.

On the whole, I would happily commend this book for those who feel stagnant in their prayer lives and hope to grow in relationship with God.

Fast Food Prayer

"I'll take a number 7. Supersize it. With a Diet Coke."

Too often, my prayers feel this way. I quickly make my requests known to God so I can get on with the "important" stuff of my day. I'm a good Christian, so I make sure to throw in a few well placed thanks to God.

"God, today, I need you to watch over my family, and my friends, and my church. Provide me with the things that I need today God. Thank you for being God...oh yeah, please meet the needs of all of those people I told I would pray for them." 

Perhaps I should expect this response: "If everything on the screen looks correct, please pull around to the first window." This type of exchange is fast and efficient and I can go on about my day.  But this morning, I felt convicted (again) about this approach. In fact, the great irony was that in the middle of my prayer time, I felt this conviction and I wanted to hurry up and finish so that I could write this blog post because, well, [sarcasm on] you all needed to hear my wisdom. [sarcasm off]

Please don't hear me saying that it has anything to do with the length of the prayer, it really doesn't. Jesus said we should not heap up empty phrases (Matthew 6:7). Rather, it has to do with a heart attitude.  When I pray fast-food prayers, I have no relational goal.  I am speaking my wants into a microphone. I have no relationship with the girl who hands me a Sausage McMuffin and a coffee. She is merely there to quickly service my "culinary" desires.

However, God desires relationship and relationship doesn't happen this way. He wants our hearts. That happens not through an impersonal exchange, but through regular fellowship around his table of grace, speaking with him and listening to his voice. Psalm 34:8 says, "taste and see that the Lord is good." We must savor Him and his presence.

My challenge, and I hope yours too, is to grow in our relationship with Christ through our prayer lives. Whether our prayers are short petitions or long conversations, may we seek to know Him.Yes, He provides many good gifts, but those are secondary things. Knowing Him and being known by Him, now that's a meal worth savoring.

Flourishing in Prayer and Meditation

Yesterday, I posted a link to a video of my friend Curt Thompson.  This is my friend Eric Johnson who, more than possibly anyone, has influenced how I think about soul care and psychology.  He is intelligent, wise, humble, and compassionate.  I want to be like him when I grow up. 

Book Review: The PAPA Prayer

The PAPA Prayer (2006) by Larry Crabb provides a description of a method of relational prayer.  Crabb, who admits early in the book, that he has written little about prayer in the past, indicated that for many Christians, prayer is often difficult. Much of our prayer is focused on ourselves or asking for requests to be filled. Crabb encourages the reader to back up and focus more upon the relationship with God.  The letters in PAPA are an acronym for:

Present yourself to God without pretense.
Attend to how you are thinking about God.
Purge yourself of anything blocking your relationship with God.
Approach God as the "first thing" in your life.

Crabb takes the reader through a reasonably detailed description of what he means by each of these things and how it looks in action.

On the positive side, Crabb is right that prayer is difficult for many Christians. Furthermore, I think he is correct that too often we downplay the importance of relationship in our prayers. Our "first thing" is relationship with God.  All other things may be added, but our relationship with our Papa is primary.

My fear is that, like other books on prayer, this may not have the intended effect. On the one hand, Crabb tries to clarify that this is not a model or magical roadmap to vibrant prayer, but as he writes about it, it is hard not to get that feel.

If you want to learn more about relational prayer, this is probably a really good place to start and I believe all of us can grow in learning more about how we relate to God. 

Man's Great End

Lord of All Being,

There is one thing that deserves my greatest care,
     that calls forth my ardent desires,
That is, that I may answer the great end for which I am made--
     to glorify thee who hast given me being,
     and to do all the good I can for my fellow men;
Verily, life is not worth having
     if it be not improved for this noble purpose.
Yet, Lord, how little is this the thought of mankind!
Most men seem to live for themselves,
     without much or any regard for Thy glory,
     or for the good of others;
They earnestly desire and eagerly pursue
     the riches, honours, pleasures of this life,
     as if they supposed that wealth, greatness, merriment,
     could make their immortal souls happy;
But, alas, what false delusive dreams are these!
And how miserable ere long will those be that sleep in them,
     for all our happiness consists in loving thee,
     and being holy as thou art holy.

O may I never fall into the tempers and vanities,
     the sensuality and folly of this present world!
It is a place of inexpressible sorrow, a vast empty nothingness;
Time is a moment, a vapour,
     and all its enjoyments are empty bubbles,
     fleeting blasts of wind,
     from which nothing satisfactory can be derived;
Give me grace always to keep in covenant with thee,
     and to reject as delusion a great name here or hereafter,
     together with all sinful pleasures or profits.
Help me to know continually,
     that there can be no true happiness,
     no fulfilling of thy purpose for me,
     apart from a life lived in and for the Son of thy love.

--Valley of Vision, pages 22-23

I agree with Greg Koukl that this may be the finest "devotional" available. If you are unfamiliar with it, I would strongly commend it to you.  You might as well get the leather version, because you will want to keep it around for a while.

Prayer of Self-examination

Ken Boa has a pretty fantastic website when it comes to spiritual formation. One of the resources I have particularly benefited from has been his prayer sequence for self examination.  I have been trying to pray through this once a week.  I pray that it is also edifying to you.

A PRAYER SEQUENCE FOR EXAMINATION 

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way. (Psalm 139:23-24)

Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

The Ten Commandments 

You shall have no other gods before Me.
You shall not make for yourself an idol.
You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Honor your father and your mother.
You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
You shall not covet.

The Lord’s Prayer 

Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

The Beatitudes 

Poverty of spirit (nothing apart from God’s grace)
Mourning (contrition)
Gentleness (meekness, humility)
Hunger and thirst for righteousness
Merciful to others
Purity of heart (desiring Christ above all else)
Peacemaking
Bearing persecution for the sake of righteousness

The Seven Deadly Sins 

Pride
Avarice
Envy
Wrath
Sloth
Lust
Gluttony

The Four Cardinal and Three Theological Virtues 

Prudence (wisdom, discernment, clear thinking, common sense)
Temperance (moderation, self-control)
Justice (fairness, honesty, truthfulness, integrity)
Fortitude (courage, conviction)
Faith (belief and trust in God’s character and work)
Hope (anticipating God’s promises)
Love (willing the highest good for others, compassion)

The Fruit of the Spirit 

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-control

Nothing but Prayer

And when he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” And he said to them, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”-Mark 9:28-29

I was reading a book a few days ago, I don't recall what one, though perhaps it was Keller's King's Cross.  Regardless, the author was discussing this section in the book of Mark when Jesus casts out a demon that the disciples have been unable to cast out.  Jesus comes to the child and easily heals him of his convulsions. The demon comes out of the boy, Jesus takes his hand, and the boy stands.  

Afterwards, it seems, the disciples are confused.  Why couldn't they cast it out? They want to know from their teacher what he did.  He tells them simply, "this kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer."  As I read the  words of the disciples, I began to think of areas of besetting sin in my own life.  I can hear echoes of myself in their words.  God, why can't I cast this sin out?  God why do I continue to struggle with this sin?  I have done everything that I can think of to get rid of it, why is it still there?  

And then Jesus words serve as an eye-opener.  "Jason, this kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer."  

Why, after having followed Christ for the last 25 years, do I still try to do things by my own effort?  Why is my reliance upon prayer yet so weak?  Because I still think I can do it.  I still think that my sanctification is me and God--I do my part, He does his.  In a way, that is true.  However, the truth of this comes in the recognition that my role is to echo the father in this story who said, "I do believe! Help my unbelief!"  I must call upon the Holy Spirit and rely upon His power to deal with these sins are only destroyed by prayer.  

Father, may you increase my reliance upon prayer. 

A Disciple's Renewal

Every morning, I read a prayer from Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions. It is a book of puritan prayers.  This morning, I read a prayer called "A disciple's renewal" and I wanted to share it with all of you.


O my Saviour,
Help me.
I am so slow to learn,
so slow to forget,
so weak to climb;
I am in the foothills when I should be on the heights;
I am pained by my graceless heart,
my prayerless days,
my poverty of love,
my sloth in the heavenly race,
my sullied conscience,
my wasted hours,
my unspent opportunities.
I am blind while light shines around me:
take the scales from my eyes,
grind to dust the heart of unbelief.
Make it my chiefest joy to study thee,
meditate on thee,
gaze on thee,
sit like Mary at thy feet,
lean like John on thy breast,
appeal like Peter to thy love,
count like Paul all things dung.
Give me increase and progress in grace,
so that there may be
more decision in my character,
more vigour in my purposes,
more elevation in my life,
more fervor in my devotion,
more constancy in my zeal.
As I have a position in the world,
keep me from making the world my position;
May I never seek in the creature
what can be found only in the Creator;
Let not faith cease from seeking thee,
until it vanishes into sight.
Ride forth in me, thou King of kings
and Lord of lords,
that I may live victoriously,
and in victory obtain my end. 

A psalm and a prayer for sinners like me

In my quiet time this morning, I came across two passages that really struck me and are worth meditation.  Every day, I am a sinner in need of mercy.  I am often amazed at the depths of my own sinfulness, so sure I should "have it together" by now.  Alas, I do not, but God was gracious in sending his son to die in my place. 

Psalm 130
    Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD!
        O Lord, hear my voice!
    Let your ears be attentive
        to the voice of my pleas for mercy!
    If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities,
        O Lord, who could stand?
    But with you there is forgiveness,
        that you may be feared.
    I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
        and in his word I hope;
    my soul waits for the Lord
        more than watchmen for the morning,
        more than watchmen for the morning.
    O Israel, hope in the LORD!
        For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
        and with him is plentiful redemption.
    And he will redeem Israel
        from all his iniquities.

Prayer for Spiritual Growth
O THOU MOST HIGH,

In the way of thy appointment I am waiting for thee,
     My desire is to thy name,
     My mind to remembrance of thee.
I am a sinner, but not insensible to my state.
My iniquities are great and numberless,
     but thou art adequate to my relief,
          for thou art rich in mercy;
          the blood of thy Son can cleanse from all sin;
          the agency of thy Spirit can subdue
          my most powerful lusts.
Give me a tender, wakeful conscience
     that can smite and torment me when I sin.
May I be consistent in conversation and conduct,
     the same alone and in company,
          in prosperity and adversity,
          accepting all thy commandments as right,
          and hating every false way.
May I never be satisfied with my present spiritual progress,
     but to faith add virtue, knowledge, temperance, godliness, brotherly kindness, charity.
May I never neglect
     what is necessary to constitute Christian character,
     and needful to complete it.
May I cultivate the expedient,
     develop the lovely, adorn the gospel,
     recommend the religion of Jesus,
     accommodate myself to thy providence.

Keep me from sinking or sinning in the evil day;
Help me to carry into ordinary life portions of divine truth
     and use them on suitable occasions, so that
          its doctrines may inform,
          its warnings caution,
          its rules guide,
          its promises comfort me.

-Valley of Vision