Luma Simms shares thoughts on Gospel-centered parenting:
If we stop to consider the motivations of our hearts—what is driving
us as parents—we can gain important insight into the discipleship of our
children. The driver behind gospel-centered discipleship is the glory
of Christ. The driver behind child-centered discipleship is the glory of
our children, and by extension, our own glory. In order to understand
my own motives, I’ve learned to ask myself: Do I want my children to
know God, to rest in the person and work of Christ, to have their many,
many sins washed in the blood of the Lamb, and to eternally glorify Him?
Or rather do I want my children to be “good,” to scrupulously avoid sin
and follow biblical injunctions, to avoid bad consequences in this
life? Obviously, these are not mutually exclusive, but where does Christ
ask us to put our emphasis? My answers to these questions revealed some
very selfish desires. I have lived with fear and anxiety over my
children’s sins, and I’ve come to realize what was in my heart. I was
not offended by their sins for the sake of God’s reputation, nor was I
offended because sin is rebellion and an affront to the person of Christ
himself. No, I feared sin in my children’s lives because I cared more
about all the earthly consequences of sin. For example, a little over
eight years ago, I grabbed hold of Deuteronomy 6 and started rattling it
like a sword in a battle cry for homeschooling. I had convinced myself
that this was the only type of schooling capable of producing godly
children. At the heart of my child-centered thinking, was the belief
that I, as a parent—not Christ, as our Lord—must do everything to
protect my children from the world and sin.
By pure grace, almost two years ago, I was convicted that I had
valued my children’s well-being more than I had valued Jesus. I trembled
at the realization that the comfort and safety (even the spiritual
safety) of my children, had become more important to me than the person
of Christ. Their “godliness” was a higher priority in my own life than
was Christ’s glory. For all my talk about holy living, I was unwilling
to follow Abraham’s spiritual example. I had denied Christ’s call to
forsake all else and follow Him. Instead, I had attempted to supplant
the Holy Spirt, to save and sanctify my children by my good works. This
is the sad truth of child-centered discipleship—at its core it is
self-centered legalism, even rebellion.
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