Tolerance, Acceptance, and Love

"Jesus was all about acceptance, not hate."

"We are supposed to be tolerant of others' beliefs."

Tolerance and acceptance have been cultural buzzwords for a years.  People often ascribe to Jesus the "virtues" of tolerance and acceptance. Whenever I see that, the first question I want to ask is "what do you mean by that?"  In this case, in many cases, definitions matter. If we fail to understand what someone is trying to communicate, we run the risk of misinterpreting them. 

In my experience, when people describe Jesus as tolerant, they often mean that he would approve of any choice, lifestyle, or behavior. This is often accompanied by the statement "the Bible says don't judge", which also requires clarification of definitions, but that is a discussion for a different time.  The same trends are often seen with the idea of acceptance. 

Because I have heard these terms so often, I decided to look them up in the Bible.  The word tolerance is never mentioned in the Bible. Its root word, "tolerate" is mentioned twice in the ESV. The first one in Esther 3:8 has little to do with the idea of tolerance alluded to above. In Revelation 2:20, the concept seems to be the opposite. In the letter to the church at Thyatira, "the words of the son of God" condemn the church's tolerance for Jezebel who seduced and taught people to engage in idolatry and sexual immorality. The NIV also translates Habakkuk 1:13 using the word tolerate; it reads "your eyes are too pure to look on evil, you cannot tolerate wrong." Acceptance and its variants have more entries. Searching accept, acceptance, and accepting, I came up with 63 entries. None of these are consistent with the concept of God accepting sinfulness. 

Conversely, the word "love" appears 506 times in the Bible. When Jesus was asked what was the greatest command, he told the people that they were to love God with all their heart, soul, and mind and love their neighbors as themselves. (Matthew 22:36-38). But I think we need to be careful to understand what biblical love means. Here are some things I do not think it means:

I do not think it means "tolerance".  In other words, I see no biblical evidence suggesting that God is willing to overlook sin.  Indeed, tolerance for sin was held against the church at Thyatira. If we are to make disciples (Matthew 28), that means we teach them what God's word says. God hates sin.  God loves people. The only way those things are reconciled is through the blood of Christ. 

I do not think it means "judgment". A common criticism of many Christians is that they are judgmental. I think that is a fair, albeit painful critique. Too often, Christians walk the beaches of humanity with a "sin detector".  When we discover little scraps of sin, we say "a-ha! I got you!"  I do not believe that is loving either. 

Ephesians 4:15 tells us to speak truth in love.  Micah 6:8 says to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God. We are not to neglect truth and justice.  We are all sinners.  We will all one day face God's judgment. We cannot downplay that message.  Yet, we must not neglect love and kindness. We must weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn. We must take a long view of sanctification.  David Powlison described progressive sanctification is often like a yo-yo going up a flight up steps.  There will be ups and downs, but there is a general trend toward growth in Christlikeness.  We must love people fully where they are at, but not neglect holding up the mirror of Scripture.  

I have been wrestling with these concepts for a long time. I expect to continue to do so for the rest of my life. If you find yourself equating tolerance with love, or judgment with love, I would encourage you to dig into the scriptures as well, praying that God will reveal to us the true meaning of love.