Walkie Talkies & Empty Couches-part 4

Thankfully, Paul does not just leave us hanging. Chapters 4 – 5 of Ephesians provide many different strategies for how to maintain unity and love like Christ.

Before even suggesting how to communicate, in Ephesians 4:2, Paul suggests the posture, or attitude, we should adopt when communicating. He tells us to walk with humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another in love.

A humble spouse is one who does not need to be right, who does not insist upon his own way. A humble spouse does not always have to get the last word. A humble spouse does not have to have the right answer for everything. A humble spouse does not presume to win an argument. A humble spouse has a desire to build the marriage, regardless of who is right or wrong.

Gentleness goes hand in hand with humility. In the Bible, gentleness is compared with a nursing mother caring for her children. If you have ever watched a mother feed her children, you see a deep peace and sense of calm. There is no sense of agitation or frenzy. Rather it suggests a pleasant sweetness.

We are also called to be patient and bear with one another in love. So often, I think we have this tendency during periods of discomfort to want to speed things up. Have you ever watched a disagreement in public? It is almost like a bad traffic accident. You don’t want to watch, but you cannot help it. Arguments escalate so that by the end, people are simply talking at each other at the same time. My advice here is SLOW DOWN. Don’t rush through an argument in haste. God willing, you will have the rest of your lives to make your point to your spouse. SLOW DOWN.

So, we have it established that we are going to be humble, gentle, patient, and bear with one another. Now what?