Split apart hearts

Heather and Grace have been in Haiti since last Wednesday, visiting with our kiddos. Ian, Tessa, and I have been here holding down the fort and awaiting their return. This was the fourth time Heather and Grace have been able to go for a visit. I have only gone twice. I have been on Coumadin, a blood thinner, since last November and at this point, the risks in going to a third world country outweigh the benefits. Even apart from the Coumadin, it is so hard for me to visit our kids now, or more accurately, to say good-bye to them. I want them home so badly. 

When we adopted Tessa, the process went so fast. She was home in just a few months after we matched with her. This adoption is taking so long. We are into our 3rd year.  Every day breaks my heart a little bit more.

I chatted with Heather this morning. Today is their last day with the kids. Yoldine awoke crying because she doesn't want them to leave. Grace is feeling sick, presumably for emotional reasons as much as physical.  It is so hard for her to come back to the United States. I am sure she would consent to stay, if we would allow it. 

It is hard to explain the feelings that occur when your family lives in two different countries. It is painful to know that we could provide better care here than they receive there because we are there parents. Every day that passes with my heart in two places, a deeper sadness grows over me.

Pray for me.  Pray that I would lead my family well and that I would love them well until Yoldine and Vlad come home.

Pray for Heather and Grace as they fly back to the US tomorrow.

Pray for our family. Pray that we would be united soon. Pray that there would be no more delays in their paperwork.  Pray that God would be readying their hearts and ours for our lives together. Pray that God would protect our hearts through all of this and that our faith in him would be strengthened.