Adopted for Life-Chapter 5-the Big Red Ball

Moore writes, "It is true that your social worker may see things very differently from the way you do, especially in the matter of discipline. Your social worker may give you advice about parenting, and some of the advice may sound insane to you. One of the social workers with whom we interviewed recommended that we should not use negative words, such as no, with the children. She counseled that we find positive ways to rephrase things so as to avoid 'breaking the child's will." I asked her what we should do if the child were doing something we thought could be dangerous and she replied, 'Well, sometimes it's good to find things to distract the child like, say, a big red ball.' When she left, I told my wife, 'I do not ever want to be caught in a dark alley with that woman's children.' Maria quipped, "At least not without a big red ball.'" (p. 132).

This was a major concern for us when we first met with our social worker. We knew that, inevitably, a discussion about childhood discipline would arise. We employ many techniques in child rearing, including spanking. There are frequent mandates in the book of Proverbs to spank children including, for example--"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him" (13:24). When it finally came up, thankfully we avoided a ridiculous discussion like the one above.

Interestingly, in 1979, the Swedish government made spanking illegal. This website cited research that, "one year after this ban was adopted, the rate of child beatings was twice that of the United States. According to a 1995 report from the government organization Statistics Sweden, police reports of child abuse by family members rose four-fold from 1984 to 1994, while reports of teen violence increased nearly six-fold."

If you want to learn more, read here, here, and here . Even better, go spend some time with families who employ Biblical discipline with their kids or adults who were spanked (not abused) as children. You will find secure, confident, and disciplined individuals.