As our baby waits on the other side of the globe, I feel a sense of urgency, a gnawing. I want her here now, joined with the rest of our family so that we can begin to develop bonds, to attach, to make her a part of us. Still I wait.
In watching my wife, it is clear that she also feels this emptiness. The peace that normally surrounds her, the peace that others are drawn to, has dimmed. She awakens in the middle of the night, for hours at a time. She has developed pain in her neck that medicine is not healing, I suppose because a pill is not the cure this time.
You see, I am good at solving problems. I can usually examine a situation and come up with a reasonable solution. My wife is the detail person, the manager. What plans we come up with, she sees through with due diligence. We have poured out those traits in this situation too, but for a host of reasons, we can't go any faster.
In my head I know that God's timing is sometimes different from my own and that He works everything out according to His plan. I just wish that message would make it to my heart. As we wait, I pray that God would:
- grant us a sense of peace, recognizing His perfect timing.
- heal Heather and help her not to carry her stress in her body but rather, to cast her anxieties upon him (I Peter 5:7)
- prepare our family and friends for bringing home this child of God.
- watch over our baby, to keep her safe and to be preparing her heart to join us here in our home.