Book Review: Give Them Grace

This book by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson has received a lot of press in Reformed circles over the past several months.  Prior to its release, several bloggers were recommending it as one of the best parenting books written.  I ordered an advanced copy and awaited its arrival.

Give Them Grace was written by Christian counselor Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica Thompson.  I have read two other books by Fitzpatrick, Counsel from the Cross: Connecting Broken People to the Love of Christ and Comforts from the Cross (Redesign): Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time and I have been impressed with her heart for the Gospel.  Counsel from the cross is a particularly good read. 

This book joins the ranks of Christian parenting books, of which there are many (in fact, the authors point out that in 2009, there were 142 new Christian parenting books according to Amazon).  Unlike many (most?) of the books out there, however, this is not a book to provide a formula for how to create better behaved children.  It is a book about grace.  They ask, "how would you raise your children if all you had was the Bible?" (p. 159).  It encourages parents to show grace to their children and grace to themselves.  It reminds us that it is God who works in us, not our own abilities that matter in our parenting. 

I  was particularly encouraged by this statement when I read it this morning: "We think that compliant children will best teach us about his grace and the Gospel, and they can. Compliant, believing children are frequently reflections of his great kindness.  But the Lord also teaches us of his grace and the gospel through difficult children. We learn what it is like to love like he loved. We learn how to walk in his footsteps, and it is there, in our personal 'upper room,' where we learn how to wash the feet of those who are betraying us" (p. 152). 

Overall, this was a very good book.  It reminds me a lot of Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting by William Farley, which I have reviewed very favorably in the past.  Setting the two side by side, I preferred Farley's book, but I believe I connected with it better as a man.  I believe my wife would better resonate with this book and in fact, when she wakes up in a few minutes, I will probably talk with her about it.  4 stars.